just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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