Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
