I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
