Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
