Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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