So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
