So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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