And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
