i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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