butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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