i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize