Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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