I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
