I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
