walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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