I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize