I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
