Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
now i know why i became what i already was.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
soo... how was my night?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
