Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
