She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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