i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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