He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
