The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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