My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
