Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize