last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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