WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
