She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize