Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
