I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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