WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
