i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize