Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
