oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
zippers are such a cool invention
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
