If i come over, it means nothing
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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