Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
