So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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