Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
