Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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