I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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