May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
