Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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