And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize