im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
