she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The Olympian is in my bed
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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