she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
