What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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