just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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