You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize