He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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