things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
