Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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