she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
