Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
