life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
