I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
