Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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