He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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