I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
