She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
