i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
