wat bout pragnant strippers??
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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