I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You can't special order awesome
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
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