Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
