end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
