Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize