Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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