Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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